Rest-less

my life has consisted of intense pressure and insane goals for as long as I can remember. in january, for the first time in over 10 years, I gave myself permission to rest. I mean really rest. my body, my spirit, and my mind.

I hate the culture of "self care," I think it's mostly wildly selfish and an excuse to disregard others and cancel anything you don't agree with. but I wholly support the premise...you can't pour from an empty cup and all that. so I set out to optimize me, so that I can do what I do best, better -- help others become fully themselves.

it was cool for a while, beautiful in fact. one of the most incredible seasons of my entire life. staying in the most peaceful location, surrounded and smothered by a community that loves and accepts me completely. feeding my mind and spirit with books and podcasts, working out, eating clean, enjoying nature. until I started to feel nagging feelings and doubts about my lack of "accomplishing." my personality tends to be perfectionistic, and the perfect life in my mind is not one where you sit at home all day and do...not much. nobody ever posts that on pinterest. but God and I are really tight so I would ask him about it and every time he would say the same thing, "rest & trust."

for real I was low key loving every second. well maybe 9 seconds out of 10. the other second there were voices ringing in my head saying, "you are getting lazy and comfortable!" but God's voice always answered back, "I am proud of you. you delight me. you are perfect and you perfectly please me today and every day."

I started to understand what he was working on. I know my identity, who I am in Christ, etc. but then again...do I really? I realized that it is so vitally important to my Father that I understand his approval of me without doing anything that he will literally keep me sitting here on my butt for as long as it takes for me to get it. there is NOTHING more important to him. 

and nothing is more important to him with you, either, although he may use different avenues to show you. but one thing I know, if you don't understand this reality in your core, he won't stop reducing whatever you use to identify yourself, until he brings you back to this, the basis of existence.

there is such an incredibly dangerous thought process being taught to the world at large by "church" people, that the Bible is some kind of text book that will teach you how to be a good Christian. it's such a lie. when you realize it is describing WHO YOU ARE, it comes alive.

take this thought, in the NIV, one of the most popular Bible translations:

'And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. '


1 John 4:16-18

we read that and, the way we are generally taught is to think, "I have to be more loving. I have to be like Jesus. if I don't get this right, people will never know God. I can't fail. I must be the most loving person on earth. If I'm not, I will be judged." 

😭 it's so not saying that. it couldn't be further from saying that. it's literally saying that our decision to accept the truth has forever made us one with the most perfect Love to exist. we have the same nature as Love. he is love, we are love. we are love. we never ever have to try to love again because it's who we are. the more we realize it, the more we become it.

the amplified helps express this a little better (and reading it with eyes of revelation, not condemnation):

'We have come to know [by personal observation and experience], and have believed [with deep, consistent faith] the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides continually in him. 

In this [union and fellowship with Him], love is completed and perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him]; because as He is, so are we in this world. 

There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love]. '


1 John 4:16-18

unfortunately translations are translated by people with preconceived ideas based on what they were taught. but just remember...the truth will set you free...if you're not free...it's not the truth...

love, MJ

Comments

Felicia Morgan said…
Love this!

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